Thursday, April 26, 2007

Finding the Right Person

Almost everyone tries to find the right person our own way, I did. We forget that its not about “finding” the right person, but “being” the right person.

Read the book of Ruth, and as you do notice how she found the right person... and how the right person found her.

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added to you” (Matthew 6:33).

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

“…but it didn’t mean anything.”

The young man recounted a problem to the old but discerning preacher: “Pastor, this girl won’t leave me alone. She thinks she is in love with me.” “And why should she think that” his counselor rhetorically queried. “I didn’t promise her anything…. I did kiss her a few times, but it didn’t mean anything.” “It didn’t mean anything to whom?” questioned the old but discerning preacher.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

To Speak Tenderly to Her…

The following is a passage from Judges 19. It is the story of a daughter, a father who deeply loved her, and the man who spoke “tenderly to her.”

Now it came about in those days, when there was no king in Israel, that there was a certain Levite staying in the remote part of the hill country of Ephraim, who took a concubine for himself from Bethlehem in Judah. But his concubine played the harlot against him, and she went away from him to her father’s house in Bethlehem in Judah, and was there for a period of four months. Then her husband arose and went after her to speak tenderly to her in order to bring her back, taking with him his servant and a pair of donkeys. So she brought him into her father’s house, and when the girl’s father saw him, he was glad to meet him. His father-in-law, the girl’s father, detained him; and he remained with him three days. So they ate and drank and lodged there. Now on the fourth day they got up early in the morning, and he prepared to go; and the girl’s father said to his son-in-law, “Sustain yourself with a piece of bread, and afterward you may go.” So both of them sat down and ate and drank together; and the girl’s father said to the man, “Please be willing to spend the night, and let your heart be merry.” Then the man arose to go, but his father-in-law urged him so that he spent the night there again. On the fifth day he arose to go early in the morning, and the girl’s father said, “Please sustain yourself, and wait until afternoon”; so both of them ate. When the man arose to go along with his concubine and servant, his father-in-law, the girl’s father, said to him, “Behold now, the day has drawn to a close; please spend the night. Lo, the day is coming to an end; spend the night here that your heart may be merry. Then tomorrow you may arise early for your journey so that you may go home.”
But the man was not willing to spend the night, so he arose and departed and came to a place opposite Jebus (that is, Jerusalem). And there were with him a pair of saddled donkeys; his concubine also was with him. When they were near Jebus, the day was almost gone; and the servant said to his master, “Please come, and let us turn aside into this city of the Jebusites and spend the night in it.” However, his master said to him, “We will not turn aside into the city of foreigners who are not of the sons of Israel; but we will go on as far as Gibeah.” He said to his servant, “Come and let us approach one of these places; and we will spend the night in Gibeah or Ramah.” So they passed along and went their way, and the sun set on them near Gibeah which belongs to Benjamin. They turned aside there in order to enter and lodge in Gibeah. When they entered, they sat down in the open square of the city, for no one took them into his house to spend the night.
Then behold, an old man was coming out of the field from his work at evening. Now the man was from the hill country of Ephraim, and he was staying in Gibeah, but the men of the place were Benjamites. And he lifted up his eyes and saw the traveler in the open square of the city; and the old man said, “Where are you going, and where do you come from?” He said to him, “We are passing from Bethlehem in Judah to the remote part of the hill country of Ephraim, for I am from there, and I went to Bethlehem in Judah. But I am now going to my house, and no man will take me into his house. “Yet there is both straw and fodder for our donkeys, and also bread and wine for me, your maidservant, and the young man who is with your servants; there is no lack of anything.” The old man said, “Peace to you. Only let me take care of all your needs; however, do not spend the night in the open square.” So he took him into his house and gave the donkeys fodder, and they washed their feet and ate and drank.
While they were celebrating, behold, the men of the city, certain worthless fellows, surrounded the house, pounding the door; and they spoke to the owner of the house, the old man, saying, “Bring out the man who came into your house that we may have relations with him.” Then the man, the owner of the house, went out to them and said to them, “No, my fellows, please do not act so wickedly; since this man has come into my house, do not commit this act of folly. “Here is my virgin daughter and his concubine. Please let me bring them out that you may ravish them and do to them whatever you wish. But do not commit such an act of folly against this man.” But the men would not listen to him. So the man seized his concubine and brought her out to them; and they raped her and abused her all night until morning, then let her go at the approach of dawn. As the day began to dawn, the woman came and fell down at the doorway of the man’s house where her master was, until full daylight.


When her master arose in the morning and opened the doors of the house and went out to go on his way, then behold, his concubine was lying at the doorway of the house with her hands on the threshold. He said to her, “Get up and let us go,” but there was no answer. Then he placed her on the donkey; and the man arose and went to his home. When he entered his house, he took a knife and laid hold of his concubine and cut her in twelve pieces, limb by limb, and sent her throughout the territory of Israel. All who saw it said, “Nothing like this has ever happened or been seen from the day when the sons of Israel came up from the land of Egypt to this day. Consider it, take counsel and speak up!”

Sunday, April 8, 2007

Crossing the Line

Boy girl friendships are special, fun, exciting… if they are friendships and nothing more. It is so wonderful to have friends, friends you can joke with, be yourself with, really like and care about; friends that care about you too.

But there are times when a friendship becomes something more. This is something wonderful when it begins the course that eventually unites two who love Him in marriage, but something less than wonderful when His Spirit is not obeyed. In either situation, when a look or a touch or a kiss or a hug makes a friendship something more, that friendship will never again be the same, although you may so very much want it to be. Like that silky soft powder that, once added to water, becomes hard as stone, when the fine line between friendship and something more is crossed, nothing will ever again be the same.

Saturday, April 7, 2007

He came to himself

I can’t help but wonder if the concluding “parable” of Luke 15 is actually more than a parable, perhaps the story of a son and his salvation. Notice he was spiritually “dead” (Luke 15:24). Notice, counter to Calvinist claims, “… he came to himself…” (Luke 15:17). Notice his free will: “I will arise and go to my Father... [I] will say unto him…” (Luke 15:18). Notice his confession: “… Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight…” (Luke 15:21). Notice he did a lot for someone who is totally unable to respond in faith and repentance, something a Calvinist calls “dead.”
And he said, A certain man had two sons: And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me. And he divided unto them his living. And not many days after the younger son gathered all together, and took his journey into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living. And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want. And he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country; and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. And he would fain have filled his belly with the husks that the swine did eat: and no man gave unto him. And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father’s have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee, And am no more worthy to be called
thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants. And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him. And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son. But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet: And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry: For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found (Luke 15:11-24).

A Doctrine of Men

There is a doctrine of men that is once again coming into vogue after centuries of quiet gestation. It is among the most hideous of the cults because it has the respectability of the "spiritually" and "intellectually" elite, claiming for itself the banner of Reformation truth. And yet it mimics the popular doctrine of Unconditional Love that also teaches that man must do nothing to be saved. Both the doctrines of Calvinism and Unconditional Love forget that there is a "condition":

God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16).


Friday, March 16, 2007

Don’t interpret Scripture

Little Children,

Don’t interpret Scripture. There is really no need. The high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity precisely chose each and every literal word of His Word. So don’t spiritualize or allegorize or twist it into compliance with any preconceived notion of men. ”The words of the LORD are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times” (Psalms 12:6). “By the word of the LORD were the heavens made; and all the host of them by the breath of his mouth” (Psalms 33:6).

But always ask yourself: “To whom is it written and what does it say?”

And if you still have questions, trust His Spirit: ”But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you” (John 14:26).

Your Father

Thursday, March 15, 2007

My Dear Lambs

I am sending you a “nativity” letter. Please read the words prepared by this young mother, perhaps no older than yourselves. I have been inexplicably drawn by this prison epistle to her “dear lamb.” It was so familiar! Then I understood. Do you remember your grandmother, how she spoke to you of so many things within this letter and how she endured the no less consuming flames of suffering, but always with a smile?

Do you remember how she held you and loved you, her “dear lambs,” and the things she told you as she committed you to “the high and lofty One” above? You were so very young.

Please prepare a letter for your “dear lambs” that the Father may one day give you. I doubt that there will ever be a better time. You may never have the quiet solitude with our Lord that this young woman was so blessed.

Your Father
______________________________________________________________

From: Martyrs Mirror, T. J. van Braght, 1660

Through a certain good friend a very affectionate and consolatory testament of Janneken Munstdorp, the wife of Hans van Munstdorp, has been put into our hands, which she wrote in prison at Antwerp, after the offering up of her husband, when she was in daily expectation of death, to her dear little daughter-to whom she had given birth in prison, and who was now only about a month old-for a perpetual remembrance, farewell, and adieu from this evil world. It reads as follows

WRITTEN TO JANNEKEN MY OWN DEAREST DAUGHTER, WHILE I WAS (UNWORTHILY) CONFINED FOR THE LORD'S SAKE, IN PRISON, AT ANTWERP, A. D. 1573

The true love of God and wisdom of the Father strengthen you in virtue, my dearest child; the Lord of heaven and earth, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, the Lord in Israel, keep you in His virtue, and strengthen and confirm your understanding in His truth. My dear little child, I commend you to the Almighty, great and terrible God, who only is wise, that He will keep you, and let you grow up in His fear, or that He will take you home in your youth, this is my heart's request of the Lord: you who are yet so young, and whom I must leave here in this wicked, evil, perverse world.

Since, then, the Lord has so ordered and foreordained it, that I must leave you here, and you are here deprived of father and mother, I will commend you to the Lord; let Him do with you according to His holy will. He will govern you and be a Father to you, so that you shall have no lack here, if you only fear God; for He will be the Father of the orphans and the Protector of the widows.

Hence, my dear lamb, I who am imprisoned and bound here for the Lord's sake, can help you in no other way; I had to leave your father for the Lord's sake, and could keep him only a short time. We were permitted to live together only half a year, after which we were apprehended, because we sought the salvation of our souls. They took him from me, not knowing my condition, and I had to remain in imprisonment, and see him go before me; and it was a great grief to him that I had to remain here in prison. And now that I have abided the time, and borne you under my heart with great sorrow for nine months, and given birth to you here in prison, in great pain, they have taken you from me. Here I lie, expecting death every morning, and shall now soon follow your dear father. And I, your dear mother, write you, my dearest child, something for a remembrance, that you will thereby remember your dear father and your dear mother.

Since I am now delivered up to death, and must leave you here alone, I must through these lines cause you to remember, that when you have attained your understanding, you endeavor to fear God, and see and examine why and for whose name we both died; and be not ashamed to confess us before the world, for you must know that it is not for the sake of any evil. Hence be not ashamed of us; it is the way which the prophets and the apostles went, and the narrow way which leads into eternal life, for there shall no other way be found by which to be saved.

Hence, my young lamb, for whose sake I still have, and have had, great sorrow, seek, when you have attained your understanding, this narrow way, though there is sometimes much danger in it according to the flesh, as we may see and read, if we diligently examine and read the Scriptures, that much is said concerning the cross of Christ. And there are many in this world who are enemies of the cross, who seek to be free from it among the world, and to escape it. But, my dear child, if we would with Christ seek and inherit salvation, we must also help bear His cross; and this is the cross which He would have us bear: to follow His footsteps, and to help bear His reproach; for Christ Himself says, "Ye shall be persecuted, killed, and dispersed for my name's sake." Yea, He Himself went before us in this way of reproach, and left us an example, that we should follow His steps; for His sake all must be forsaken, father, mother, sister, brother, husband, child, yea, one's own life.

I must now also forsake all this for the Lord's sake, which the world is not worthy to suffer; for if we had continued in the world, we would have had no trouble. For when we were one with the world and practiced idolatry, and loved all manner of unrighteousness, we could live at peace with the world; but when we desired to fear God, and to shun such improper ways, well knowing that this could not please God, wherefore we sought to shun all this, and turned from idolatry to the worship of the living God, and sought here in quietness and gentleness to practice our faith, then they did not leave us in peace; then our blood was sought; then we had to be a prey to everyone, and become a spectacle to all the world. They seek here to murder and to burn us; we are placed at posts and stakes, and our flesh is given as food to the worms.

Thus, my dear child, it is now fulfilled in your dear father and mother. It was indeed prophesied to us beforehand, that this was awaiting us; but not everyone is chosen hereunto, nor expects it; the Lord has chosen us hereunto. Hence, when you have attained your understanding, follow this example of your father and mother. And, my dear child, this is my request of you, since you are still very little and young; I wrote this when you were but one month old. As I am soon now to offer up my sacrifice, by the help of the Lord, I leave you this, "That you fulfill my request, always uniting with them that fear God; and do not regard the pomp and boasting of the world, nor the great multitude, whose way leads to the abyss of hell, but look at the little flock of Israelites, who have no freedom anywhere, and must always flee from one land to the other, as Abraham did; that you may hereafter obtain your fatherland; for if you seek your salvation, it is easy to perceive which is the way that leads to life, or the way that leads into hell. Above all things, seek the kingdom of heaven and His righteousness; and whatever you need besides shall be added unto you. Matt. 6:33."

Further, my dear child, I pray you, that wherever you live when you are grown up, and begin to have understanding, you conduct yourself well and honestly, so that no one need have cause to complain of you. And always be faithful, taking good heed not to wrong any one. Learn to carry your hands always uprightly, and see that you like to work, for Paul says, "If any will not work, neither shall he eat." II Thess. 3:10. And Peter says, "He that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil." I Pet. 3:10.

Hence, my dear Janneken, do not accustom your mouth to filthy talk, nor to ugly words that are not proper, nor to lies; for a liar has no part in the kingdom of heaven; for it is written, "The mouth that lieth slayeth the soul." Hence beware of this, and run not in the street as other bad children do; rather take up a book, and learn to seek there that which concerns your salvation.

And where you have your home, obey those whose bread you eat. If they speak evil, do you speak well. And learn always to love to be doing something; and do not think yourself too good for any thing, nor exalt yourself, but condescend to the lowly, and always honor the aged wherever you are.

I leave you here; Oh, that it had pleased the Lord, that I might have brought you up; I should so gladly have done my best with respect to it; but it seems that it is not the Lord's will. And though it had not come thus, and I had remained with you for a time, the Lord could still take me from you, and then, too, you should have to be without me, even as it has now gone with your father and myself, that we could live together but so short a time, when we were so well joined since the Lord had so well mated us, that we would not have forsaken each other for the whole world, and yet we had to leave each other for the Lord's sake. So I must also leave you here, my dearest lamb; the Lord that created and made you now takes me from you, it is His holy will. I must now pass through this narrow way which the prophets and martyrs of Christ passed through, and many thousands who put off the mortal clothing; who died here for Christ, and now they wait under the altar till their number shall be fulfilled, of which number your dear father is one. And I am now on the point of following him, for I am delivered up to death, as it appears in the eyes of- man; but if it were not the will of the Lord (though it seems that I am delivered up to death), He could yet easily; deliver me out of their hands and give me back to, you, my child. Even as the Lord returned to -Abraham his son Isaac, so He could still easily do it; He is still the same God that delivered Daniel out of the lion's, den, and the three young men out of the fiery furnace; He could still easily deliver me out of the hands of man.

Now, my child, if this be not so, I know, that He is faithful and faithfully keeps His promise. Thus, my poor orphan child, always be resigned; though I and your father are now taken from you; know that you have a Father in heaven, who will doubtless well provide for you: And when you are old enough, give diligence to learn to read and write, since it is very convenient, and most profitable in this distress, for him that fears God, that you may sometimes read this letter; also the other letters, which your father left you; do read them, and remember us both thereby. Dear Janneken, we have not left you much of this world's goods, and I have now not much to give you, but what I have I give you. However, we leave you a good example to fear God, which is better than much of the temporal goods of this world. Only follow us, and you shall have wealth enough; true, you are poor here, but you shall possess much wealth, if you only fear God and shun sin. As the apostle says to the Hebrews, "My son despise not thou the chastening of the Lord for they that would be without chastisement are bastards, and not sons or heirs." Heb. 12:5. Hence, my dear lamb, cease not, because of the cross, to fear God, for a Christian is not made meet except by much tribulation and persecution upon this world, and we must through much tribulation enter into the kingdom of God; for Paul says, "All that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution." II Tim. 3:12. And Christ says, "He that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me; As not worthy of me; for the servant is not better than his lord, nor the disciple above his master. If they have called the master of the house Beelzebub, how much more shall they call them of his household." Matt. 10:38, 24, 25: If they have persecuted' the Lord, they will also persecute us; if they have hated Him, they will also hate us; and this they do ,because they have not known my Father, nor me, says the Almighty Lord. For His kingdom was not of this world; had His kingdom been of this, world, the world would have loved Him; but because His kingdom was not of this world; therefore the world hated Him.' So it also is now, since our kingdom is not of this world, the world will hate us; but it is better for us to be despised here by the world, than that we should hereafter have to mourn forever. But they that will not taste the bitter here; can hereafter not expect eternal life; for we know that Paul says, that all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall be persecuted and be a prey to everyone.

Thus, my dear child, this way the prophets and apostles and many thousands of other God-fearing persons went before us, for an example unto us; and Christ Himself did not spare Himself for us, but delivered up Himself unto death for our sakes -how then should He not give us all things? Hence, my dearest lamb, seek to follow this way, this I pray you, as much as you value your salvation; for this is the only way which leads to eternal life, yea, there is no other way by which we can be saved than only through Jesus Christ, as Paul says, "Other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ" (I Cor. 3:11); by whose, stripes we are healed, and through whose blood we have been dearly purchased; for we have not been bought with gold or silver, but through His bitter death, and His precious blood which He shed for us. And we were as erring sheep in this world, but now are we redeemed through His precious and dear blood, and He has now: called us to be heirs and first-fruits of Christ. All those that have died unto sin, and amended their lives, and are thus risen with Christ into newness of life, these no- longer desire to live to themselves, but their life belongs to the Lord; if they live, they live to the Lord; if they die, they die unto the Lord; they are so resigned that whether they live or die, they belong to the Lord. For, my dear lamb, what shall it avail them that Christ died, who still continue in their sins, and do not turn from this improper life in which they are still sunk as drunkards, murderers, adulterers, idolaters, liars, backbiters, or railers who cannot please God, whose works proceed only from the devil, all of which the Lord prohibits and says that except they amend their lives, they shall not inherit the kingdom of God? And it shall avail them nothing that He died, if they will not repent. They would sin upon the grace of God, but they say not that He is just; He is indeed merciful, but He is also just; we may not sin upon His grace. Though we do our best to fear the Lord, and to renounce ourselves according to our ability, yea, though we did all that He commands us, which we are far from doing, we should only do that which is commanded us; we must yet confess that we are unprofitable servants and have not merited anything but are guilty of eternal death. If He were -not merciful, we could not be saved; hence we may not sin upon His grace, but always strive according to our ability to follow that which he commands us.

My dear lamb; we can merit nothing, but must through grace inherit salvation; hence always endeayor to fear God, for the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and he that fears the Lord will do good, and it will be well with him in this world and in that which is to come. And always join those that seek to fear the Lord from the heart, and be not conformed to the world, to do as she does, nor walk in any improper course of life; for the world shall pass away, and all the nations that serve her shall perish with her. Nor have fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them; and be transformed by the renewing of your life, that you may show forth the virtues in which God has called you.

O my dearest lamb, that you might know the truth when you have attained your understanding, and that you might follow your dear father and mother, who went before you; for your dear father demonstrated with his blood that it is the genuine truth, and I also hope to attest the same with my blood, though flesh and blood must remain on the posts and on the stake, well knowing that we shall meet hereafter. Do you also follow us my dear lamb, that you too may come where we shall be, and that we may find one another there, where the Lord shall say, "Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the beginning."

Then our joy shall not be taken from us. Though they have separated us here, so that we are taken from you, and must go before you, know that it was the Lord's will; if it had been His pleasure, He could easily have ordered it otherwise.

Hence, my dear child, be content; He knows what He has determined concerning you, that I must leave you here. Always be honorable and courteous toward all men, and let your modesty be manifest to all men when you have attained to your understanding.

I leave you here among my friends; I hope that my father, and my step-mother, and my brothers, and my sisters will do the best with you as long as they live. Be subject and obedient to them in every thing, so far as it is not contrary to God. I leave you what comes from my mother's death, namely, thirty guilders and over; I do not know how much it is, since I have been long imprisoned here, and do not know what it has all cost. But I hope that Grietge, my dear sister, who has shown me so much friendship, will do her best to give you what belongs to you. And as to what may come to you from your father, I do not know, since I can learn nothing about his parents, because it is so far from here; if they should inquire after you, my friends may do the best in the matter.

And now, Janneken, my dear lamb, who are yet very little and young, I leave you this letter, together with a gold real, which I had with me in prison, and this I leave you for a perpetual adieu, and for a testament; that you may remember me by it, as also by this letter. Read it, when you have understanding, and keep it as long as you live in remembrance of me and of your father, if peradventure you might be edified by it. And I herewith bid you adieu, my dear Janneken Munstdorp,and kiss you heartily, my dear lamb, with a perpetual kiss of peace. Follow me and your father, and be not ashamed to confess us before the world, for we were not ashamed to confess our faith before the world, and this adulterous generation; hence I pray you, that you be not ashamed to confess our faith, since it is the true evangelical faith, an other than which shall never be found.

Let it be your glory that we did not die for any evil doing, and strive to do likewise, though they should also seek to kill you. And on no account cease to love God above all, for no one can prevent you from fearing God. If you follow that which is good, and seek peace, and ensue it, you shall receive the crown of eternal life; this crown I wish you and the crucified, bleeding, naked, despised, rejected and slain Jesus Christ for your bridegroom.

This I wish you for a perpetual testament, and for a perpetual adieu and farewell my dearest lamb.

Remember thereby your dear father, and me, your dear mother, who have written this with my own hand, for your edification; and always keep this gold real with you, with this letter, for a perpetual testament: I herewith bid you adieu and farewell; I hope to seal this letter with my blood at the stake.

I herewith commend you to the Lord, and to the comforting Word of His grace, and bid you adieu once more. I hope to wait for you; follow me, my dearest child.

Once more, adieu, my dearest upon earth; adieu, and nothing more; adieu, follow me; adieu and farewell. Written on the 10th of August, A. D. 1573, at Antwerp. This is the testament which I wrote in prison for my daughter Janneken, whom I bore and gave birth to here in my bonds.

By me your dearest mother, imprisoned for the Lord's sake.

JANNEKEN MUNSTDORP.

(Martyrs Mirror (http://www.homecomers.org/mirror/contents.htm), T. J. van Braght, 1660, p. 984-988, emphasis added).

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

The Relationship Roller Coaster

Most spend their teen years on a romantic roller coaster. As they hurdle earthward from one expiring relationship, they suddenly throttle skyward as another blossoms. It feels so good as a new relationship begins. It feels so bad as it all too quickly ends. Most teens are as hooked on the Relationship Roller Coaster as others are on boozes or drugs. And in much the same way, they keep looking for another romantic high. Why does it feel like heaven falling into love and like the not so proverbial abyss when you fall the other way?

The dynamics of romantic pairing include: someone finding you attractive; someone choosing you over all others; someone making you feel important, needed, valued, loved; someone giving you the assurance that your needs will be forever met; someone making you really belong at work or church or school. And when that someone shares these feelings, some degree of bonding typically called “love” occurs.

But after a time feelings change; what goes up must come down. One may find another more attractive. One or both may grow tired of making the other feel important, needed, valued, loved. The assurance that needs will be met begins to drift away with the sad realization that what they thought they saw was never really there. And when the bond is finally broken, that sense of belonging is replaced with that terrible feeling of being rejected and alone.

What did they do wrong? They invested too much in feelings. They forgot that love in not something to FEEL but something to DO. It is a commitment, a promise, and perhaps a sacred vow: “In sickness and health, for richer or poorer, for better or worse, forsaking all others….” And even more than that, they tried to replace the One who will completely fulfill their needs and give them joy now and forever more.